>Last night I drove home from Elgin all by myself in the dark. Roughly three and a half hours. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. It was a mental test. Proceed with caution as these are the true, unadulterated and obnoxious thoughts of a paranoid driver alone at night. Mile markers are approximate.
Mile 1 – Crap. I think I know how to get out of Elgin. The streets in this town are messed up. Do I have enough change for the toll? I need an I-Pass. Lord, protect me on my way home.
Mile 15 – Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. It’s dark. Why doesn’t that guy have his headlights on? Idiot. Turn on your headlights! Maybe I’ll flash my headlights at him. But maybe he has a loaded shotgun in the backseat and a hot temper. Better not. You just never know.
Belvidere Oasis – There’s Starbucks. It’s tempting, but I just want to get home. I don’t even have to pee yet. I’m tired. Bye bye Starbucks.
Mile 30 – Whoops. Almost had an accident merging onto 39. Didn’t even see that car coming. Thank you Jesus for helping me avoid an accident. I trust You. I trust You. [[tearing up, realizing that I trust Him for a lot more than just this measly drive home]] I trust You. That’s it.
Mile 33 – My iPod just died. This makes me really sad. Try to find a decent radio station. Ehhh, screw it. Hillsong works (CD in car).
Mile 38 – Wow. This road is really really long. And straight. And boring without Aaron. Last time we were on this road, it was February and there was a near-blizzard. I was so scared but glad he was with me.
Mile 40 – Glad I put in some fuel injector cleaner. Haven’t had any burps at all this whole trip. Daddy would be proud that I knew how to use it.
Mile 43 – I don’t even know how to check my tire pressure. Fail. Daddy would not be proud of me for that. I hope my tires are okay. And I think I’m good for another thousand miles before I need an oil change. This car has a lot of miles. But maybe it will last until like 400,000. That would be awesome.
Mile 60 – I still have a long way to go. I can’t wait until I’m home. Even in Peoria. Man, even in Bloomington. I need a drink of water but Emily ate all the ice that was in my water bottle. Ice eater.
Mile 74 – Wow, there are a bunch of tiny towns in the middle of nowhere. I bet they hate driving on two-lane roads all the time. GPS says I should take Route 24 home. But I hate two-lane roads. What if I hit a deer? What if I don’t? What if it takes longer if I take 74? What if I hit a deer on 74? What if I total my car and die? I guess I’m going to heaven. But I would feel sad for Aaron in heaven. Can you feel sad in heaven?
Mile 81 – I need to stop and pee. Where is the next exit? I hate stopping at night by myself. I will find a nice well-lit gas station.
Mile 90 – Mendota’s coming up soon. I’ll stop there and go pee and get some water. Or caffeine. Hmm. Starbucks sounds good. But I should drink water. But I want caffeine. But I’ll drink the caffeine faster.
Mile 93 – Okay, stopping in Mendota. I don’t want to make any more stops on this trip because I just want to get home. Aaron’s supposed to call at eleven. And I need to wash those dishes I left sit since who knows when. Gross. Man, I’m going to be tired when I get home.
Mile 100 – Okay, this isn’t so bad. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Jesus, thank you for caffeine. Maybe I should pray. That would be a good idea. Oh! I have music on my phone. It has two bars left; I should be okay to play some music.
Mile 105 – Jesus, thank you for everything in my life. Thank you for the opportunities that you give to me, to my husband. Thank you for bringing me through even when I made my bed in hell. You are good. You have protected me. You’ve been with me.
Mile 120 – Okay, almost to Bloomington. Yay. Getting there. I remember driving this route from Varna when I’d come visit my grandparents after work. Can’t believe I wanted to stay here and go to ISU for my Master’s. So glad I don’t have to drive that far to work every day. I’ll need gas tomorrow.
Mile 130 – Yay, Bloomington! It’s gravy from here. That hill right before Goodfield creeps me out though. Lots of trees. Lots of deer…
Mile 163 – Peoria’s skyline is so pretty. I really like Peoria, although I get scared sometimes driving up Knoxville this late at night. GPS was right on on the time. My spedometer is fast. No wonder I haven’t gotten a ticket when I thought I was driving 78 on the interstate.. I was only going 75/76. Only? Hmm.
Mile 165 – Home! Yay! Not even going to check the mail. I’m tired. And I have dishes to do. Oh man. But Aaron’s calling soon! I love him….