After praying, seeking counsel, and what felt like fasting (still don’t have a normal appetite), I put in my resignation yesterday. I feel that it was the right decision to make. I didn’t waver when speaking to my boss. I didn’t have any second thoughts. I don’t feel the need to constantly defend my decision. I’m not worried about what will happen next. I’m getting a recommendation and I’m not leaving on bad terms. I normally go crazy with planning every detail of what will happen next, but I’m waiting on the Lord. I have a few ideas of what I want to do with my time, but nothing concrete yet.
It was a decision that was based primarily on internal and spiritual factors, not outside factors. I almost second-guessed myself, since we’re having changes in staff and there’s some instability. However, I knew that soon I would be offered another promotion for a lot more hours and not a lot more money and it just isn’t worth it. And of course, the question of “What would Dave Ramsey do?!” popped into my head.
I am a very blessed woman to have a husband who is supportive of what I want to do. I’m blessed that I have the luxury of quitting my job. We’ve also worked really hard to be able to live on one income without being desperate.
The desperate Elizabeth would be second-guessing herself, profusely apologizing to her husband for the lack of extra “fun” money they’ll have, going crazy with what to do with all her time… What if he deploys? What if he goes TDY? What if this looks bad on my resume? What if….? Ya know what? I’m done with the “What if…?”
I’ve regretted some decisions I’ve made in life, notably my major in college. However, I believe we make the best decisions for the current time in our lives. You can try as you might to weigh all the pros and cons, but only hindsight is 20/20 and fully capable of making us feel bad if we let it.
In that case, I don’t regret decisions I’ve made, and it seems I’ve made quite a lot of big decisions in the last eight years… going to Bradley, majoring in Spanish, deciding to teach, marrying Aaron, encouraging him to join the Army (that was a joint decision), staying in Illinois to teach/work, etc etc etc. I feel that I make sound decisions and this is no different.
I feel like a weight has been lifted, but also that my responsibility is greater now. I’m not sure what I’ll be doing, but as always I desire to do the work of the Lord. My passion is teaching, and He knows that. He knows the desires of my heart. He’ll provide financially. I can’t describe how freeing it is to make this decision because I want to, not because I have to.
And, by the way, HAPPY ST. PATTY’S DAY!!!! We took it easy at the on-post 6-miler this morning. I ran in the Minimus and am feeling it now!