I can’t even.

I’m sitting here with a mess in my kitchen and a grad school to-do list a million miles long, and I’m just sobbing, completely overwhelmed by the spirit of God. I’m alone in my house, but I know I’m not really alone; I’m never alone.

Today I had the opportunity to pray with a dear friend who worships a different god than I do. She is from a different country, speaks a different first language, reads a different holy book, dresses differently. Who would have thought in a million years we would be close friends, sharing funny stories about our husbands, drinking too many frappuccinos, and commiserating about classes and professors?

She was quite upset, and we were alone in the room. You know how it is, when you’re watching someone you care about become upset and frustrated about a situation, and you’re not sure what to say. The situation wasn’t anything tragic or really life-changing, but it was disappointing for her. I’ve been trying to do this thing in my life where instead of texting everyone I know (okay, like two people) about a disappointing situation, I pray. Imagine that, taking our worries and cares to the One who knows exactly how to fix it and how to comfort us instead of getting all bent out of shape.

We’ve been friends for awhile now, since I started the grad program, and so I just took a risk and asked if I could pray for her. She accepted and I held her hand and just said a simple prayer and repeated the same things several times, not knowing what else to say. After it was over, I had to go to a meeting, and as I walked downstairs I wondered if the prayer helped, because you know, it was so simple. But I knew God was in control and that He guided that prayer.

She told me after my meeting that “there was an answer to your prayer”. Wait, what?! Already? I had only been gone 45 minutes. She seemed at peace, not upset anymore. She told me later today that the prayer felt good. She will never know how much I want her to truly experience the peace, joy, and purpose I’ve found in serving the one true God, but as much as I feel that, God wants to find her.

And now I’m sitting here, just overwhelmed by the God of creation, the one and only living God, the God who walked the earth and came down to our level, fully human while fully God, to meet us. The only God ever in the history of everything, who came down here to spend time with us. To pursue us. And He pursues my dear friend, who is different than I am in so many ways. But the same God who is in my heart, who guides me day to day, wants her. Wants to be her God, wants to bless her, wants her to know who He is and that He is good, always. And by the knowledge that He pursues all people regardless of religion, nationality, or dress, I am in turn overwhelmed by His love for me.

Mind = blown. And then, I found this song by happenstance…

“Mercy” — Phil Wickham

Made from the dust and breathed into life
He stood unashamed with a fire in his eyes
The image of God walking upon the world
All of the earth was under his feet
Except for the fruit from a forbidden tree
He took a taste and that’s how he breaks the world

He cried Mercy, Mercy
He broke the whole world with the fruit of a tree
Have mercy

Heaven to Earth came down from on high
With Hope in His name and a fire in His eyes
The fullness of God walking upon the world
He said He was love then proved it with blood
And rose from the dead to prove He was God
And that’s what it takes for one man to save the world

Oh such Mercy, Mercy
He saved the whole world when He hung on a tree
Such mercy

Now here inside of our skin and bones
Heaven above is making its home
The kingdom of God living upon the world
To love like He loves and give like he gives
To tell the story that makes dead men live
and that’s what it takes if we’re gonna to change the world

Mercy, Mercy
Your love is a song and You sing over me

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