Day 11 | Doubt

Doubt

My actions and thoughts exemplify this word more times than I can count, sadly. A perfect example would be half marathon training. I’m aiming to do the Maryland Half Marathon in May, so my training plan started a few weeks ago. I had six miles on the calendar for today, and I woke up (woke up!) feeling defeated, sore, unwilling, headache-y, and disgruntled. Just ask my husband.

I doubted that I could get out there and do it, even though I’ve run hundreds of miles in my life and could definitely muster six. I decided to lace up my shoes, and knew that there’d be coffee waiting for me when I got back.

I took a step, and then another step, and then finally I had completed one, two miles. Lots of hills. Then I was halfway done, and it was then that my doubts stopped chattering in my head. I felt good, my lungs filled with humid air, my feet going faster and faster with every mile.

Before I knew it, I was walking in my front door. I got it done. If I had let doubt take over, I never would have even laced up my shoes, much less walked out the door. I would have felt upset, unhappy, and angsty all day. Instead, each mile completed is another step away from doubt when I come to the next run on my training plan.

Here’s a verse that’s been speaking to me this week from the readings:

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 (NASB)