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mercies per mile

mercies per mile

writings about romance and redemption

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Category: grief

Books under the rug

November 29, 2020November 25, 2020 ~ Elizabeth W ~ 2 Comments

The memories we have as children are grossly underestimated. The experiences, people, sayings, jokes, smells, foods, books... it's really amazing that all of this fits so well as it's swept under a rug. Until it doesn't fit, and one by one each memory or book or food grows legs and crawls out, peeking its head … Continue reading Books under the rug

When they’re all grown up

August 16, 2020September 28, 2020 ~ Elizabeth W ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes the house is too quiet, sometimes the floors are too clean. On a lazy, cool, and rainy Sunday afternoon, which have been quite rare, I become more aware of my inner thoughts than I have been in awhile. I seem to oscillate between thinking and feeling, doing and observing. And I've been doing a … Continue reading When they’re all grown up

Vanishing

March 22, 2020March 21, 2020 ~ Elizabeth W ~ Leave a comment

With all this time at home and so many headlines, I find I'm spending way more time on my phone in the past week than I have in a long time. As a result of scrolling, I saw this video of Kelly Clarkson (have always been a fan) doing an a cappella version of Mariah … Continue reading Vanishing

Equal and opposite reaction

February 5, 2020February 3, 2020 ~ Elizabeth W ~ 1 Comment

Physics was not my best class. Here I was, senior year of high school, vying for the "Seven-Semester High Honors" title I would share with many of my classmates. Our grades weren't weighted, but I'd be damned if I got either that honor or valedictorian (something I shared with 20 of my classmates) without going … Continue reading Equal and opposite reaction

When ‘no’ means ‘yes’

February 2, 2020April 11, 2020 ~ Elizabeth W ~ 1 Comment

Busyness is a form of people pleasing, and people pleasing is a coping strategy. If I can't feel good about myself from the inside, then I make sure to get as much external validation as possible. The more I say yes, the harder I work, the more validation I receive which, because of how I … Continue reading When ‘no’ means ‘yes’

Out of grief, thankfulness

January 27, 2020 ~ Elizabeth W ~ 2 Comments

As the plane circled Midway, I was fuming. Angry. Upset. And desperately wishing the pilot would turn us back to Baltimore. I looked out the window and my body told me that it remembered the intense, confusing, and raw grief I experienced several years ago when my grandpa died and I flew 'home' for the … Continue reading Out of grief, thankfulness

Unconditional ice cream

June 20, 2019 ~ Elizabeth W ~ Leave a comment

School is out here in Maryland (finally) and consequently I've been able to do errands like grocery shopping and running to the post office during regular business hours. It's been glorious. And I know when late August rolls around I will whine and complain that now I don't have time for work because I just … Continue reading Unconditional ice cream

Sitting in silence

January 30, 2019January 29, 2019 ~ Elizabeth W ~ 1 Comment

I always wondered why when I went to my grandparents' or great-grandparents' houses, it was quiet. It was quiet except for the hourly tone of the clock. It was quiet except for the shuffle of a newspaper or drip-drip-drip of the coffee pot. It was unnerving, really, and kind of annoying. Now, knowing that I … Continue reading Sitting in silence

The Mean Girl in the Mirror

January 27, 2019January 26, 2019 ~ Elizabeth W ~ Leave a comment

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're too tall. You'd better feign an interest in sports so people think you're living up to your height. You're too skinny and too tall. Your handwriting sucks. Erase and write your name again. And again. Be careful about showing too much of the silhouette of your body. Men will make noises at you when … Continue reading The Mean Girl in the Mirror

A lighted match

January 23, 2019January 19, 2019 ~ Elizabeth W ~ Leave a comment

Anytime I think I don't need to go so frequently to the therapist, I'm proven wrong. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes I internally measure my need for therapy by how long it takes me to start crying in a session. I get a cup of tea from the Keurig that's provided in the practice I go … Continue reading A lighted match

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Elizabeth: teacher at heart, transplanted marylander, and emoter extraordinaire

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