Have I ever really been ambitious or singular about one particular thing in my life? That's the question I'm walking around with this morning. Also, what has been/is my ambition? And does it align at all to my place in a capitalistic society? For years I was a teacher. While I would say I had … Continue reading What is ambition, really?
I know that when I feel anxious or swimming in thoughts, I need to just write them down. It's amazing the clarity that can be realized when I put my anxious thoughts to rest. Being alone is hard for me. Ironically, I'm an introvert. But I think in today's terms I'd be considered an "extroverted … Continue reading Being alone is difficult
For my whole life, I've equated what I do with who I am. As in, I have believed that my actions demonstrate the type of person I am. This means that for my whole life, I've been labeling myself. Applying dichotomies to my character, oftentimes false. If I said I'm not sure where I learned … Continue reading Changing the tone of self-talk
Recovery is hard, but recovery of the mind is even harder. Since I've found myself with quite a lot of free time, I've been thinking a lot. Often to my detriment thanks to those lovely thought spirals. But as I round the corner in recovery, now is the time to really consider and examine my … Continue reading Recovery of the mind & being an agent of change in society at large
I think I've figured it out. The reason why I'm in a very frequent state of existential angst. I feel like I'm going up a creek in many areas of my life. I'm looking for solutions, even proposing solutions, but very few seem to be picking up what I'm putting down. It could be me. … Continue reading Controlled chaos, at the very least
It's what people say when you're at an uncomfortable height. It's advice and admonishment. It's a warning against the inevitable void that will entice you to fall. It could be a bend from reality, a willful ignorance of what actually exists. At some point, we have to look down and get real. We have to … Continue reading Don’t look down
Mental illness is a bitch. She's the shadow behind you when you look in the mirror. She's the one who whispers, "I'll always be with you." And she's not wrong. I had a stark realization that this will forever be with me. I can't shake it. You name it, I've tried everything. Prayer. Medication. Meditation. … Continue reading My constant companion(s)
When you are a child, the eighteen years you spend as a child feels like eternity. I can't tell you how many times I thought, I can't wait until I'm out on my own. Until I can do whatever I want. When you're an adult, the years you spent as a child grow smaller and … Continue reading Helping our inner child find the way
I'll be honest: I've always scoffed at people who walk to get exercise. 1) Being honest is all I've got, and 2) I was a pretentious asshole. I mean, I've run marathons. What benefit could there be to walking over running? I remember being a teenager and going for walks occasionally through my neighborhood. I'd … Continue reading Feeling at home during COVID
I don't mean that the act of not drinking is so difficult. I mean, it can be, especially on the Saturday of a long weekend where I just feel good all day, and what could make it better besides a lovely cocktail or two? In all honesty though, overall it hasn't been difficult for me … Continue reading Choosing to not drink is easy; sobriety is hard
mercies per mile 
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