Why is it that as soon as I open this fucking laptop My nervous system starts to calm down My breathing starts to return to normal After an entire day of wanting to crawl out of my skin And leave this world behind My heart is still in my body, and it still hurts My … Continue reading Why is it
Author: Elizabeth
Crafting, eating, exploring, lifting, reading, traveling, writing, yoga, in alphabetical order of course.
But I love my rusty tools, dammit
Sometimes I'm worried I won't have anything to write about, and then I realize AuDHD is not just a phase. I think by and large I've worked my way out of the throes of My Big Autistic Burnout. Thank God. I'm in the phase of post-burnout where I'm finessing my coping strategies (still working) and … Continue reading But I love my rusty tools, dammit
Mother’s Day & Matriarchs
This blog post is coming to you from an adorable coffee shop about half a mile from my house. "Exposure therapy" is good, and probably necessary this many years on. So here I am in public, among children and strollers and women wearing some variation of "Mama Bear" sweatshirts. Today is Mother's Day, and I … Continue reading Mother’s Day & Matriarchs
Sick and tired
Aren't you tired (and I'm feeling physically sick)Aren't you sick of looking at yourself in the mirror and wanting to shrink or be anyone elseArent you sick of being sad and stressed and upset and on the brink of despair the majority of the dayAnd despondent when you wake up in the night You can … Continue reading Sick and tired
Staycation: a save point.
I recently took a spring break of my own making, an entire week. This length of time is in quite stark contrast to spring break in my last job as a public school teacher. In the particular district I was working for, we never had a full week of for spring break. Most years we … Continue reading Staycation: a save point.
lighter
how can you make things lighter? how (can / should / will) you remove the tethers and nails and boxes? how (can / should / will) you stretch your mind into time and space of transcendent light and hope? how can you make things brighter? how (can / should / will) you open the dusty … Continue reading lighter
Flaky Church Girl
In this post I reflect on my experiences as a neurodivergent individual within church settings, discussing challenges like social interactions, sensory overload, and accessibility issues. I emphasize the need for compassion and inclusivity in the church, advocating for accommodations and understanding, ultimately allowing for a renewed, self-accepting relationship with faith and community.
Emerging from the tsunami of burnout
Come on, come on / Out from underneath who you were / Come on, come on now / You know that it's time to emerge ("Emergence," Sleep Token) Now that I'm coming out of burnout, I find that I'm bleary-eyed and ravenous. I would liken it to hibernation, but there was a lot more happening … Continue reading Emerging from the tsunami of burnout
Meltdown: Implosion Explained (Part 5)*
*This post is part of a series of reflections written as I explored my neurodivergence prior to diagnosis. Originally written August 2023. Life feels hard, every day. I wish it wasn’t. There are some days that are easier than others. But I feel like there’s always something to dread - some commitment, some phone call, something … Continue reading Meltdown: Implosion Explained (Part 5)*
Regarding the Next Big Thing
Don't tell everyone about the seeds you're planting. Let them grow without the disturbance of outside energy... There's an enormous amount of power in silence..." [Moonomens] I think there's a lot of wisdom in holding your goals close to your chest, not talking about them. It's antithetical to the Western way of life for sure, … Continue reading Regarding the Next Big Thing
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 