Aren't you tired (and I'm feeling physically sick)Aren't you sick of looking at yourself in the mirror and wanting to shrink or be anyone elseArent you sick of being sad and stressed and upset and on the brink of despair the majority of the dayAnd despondent when you wake up in the night You can … Continue reading Sick and tired
Category: depression
Staycation: a save point.
I recently took a spring break of my own making, an entire week. This length of time is in quite stark contrast to spring break in my last job as a public school teacher. In the particular district I was working for, we never had a full week of for spring break. Most years we … Continue reading Staycation: a save point.
Flaky Church Girl
In this post I reflect on my experiences as a neurodivergent individual within church settings, discussing challenges like social interactions, sensory overload, and accessibility issues. I emphasize the need for compassion and inclusivity in the church, advocating for accommodations and understanding, ultimately allowing for a renewed, self-accepting relationship with faith and community.
Emerging from the tsunami of burnout
Come on, come on / Out from underneath who you were / Come on, come on now / You know that it's time to emerge ("Emergence," Sleep Token) Now that I'm coming out of burnout, I find that I'm bleary-eyed and ravenous. I would liken it to hibernation, but there was a lot more happening … Continue reading Emerging from the tsunami of burnout
Meltdown: Implosion Explained (Part 5)*
*This post is part of a series of reflections written as I explored my neurodivergence prior to diagnosis. Originally written August 2023. Life feels hard, every day. I wish it wasn’t. There are some days that are easier than others. But I feel like there’s always something to dread - some commitment, some phone call, something … Continue reading Meltdown: Implosion Explained (Part 5)*
Autistic Brownout (Part 3)*
*This post is part of a series of reflections written as I explored my neurodivergence prior to diagnosis. Originally written July 2023. I knew about burnout but I didn’t know about autistic burnout. And fuck, I guess that’s what this is. My whole life, I have been thinking pretty regularly, A vacation would fix this. … Continue reading Autistic Brownout (Part 3)*
Self-Realization: the Onset (Part 1)*
*This post is part of a series of reflections written as I explored my neurodivergence prior to diagnosis. Originally written July 2023. It all started during COVID, I think. The shutdown was a balm for my soul. Some part of me hates admitting that - people died. Lots of people died. But for the first … Continue reading Self-Realization: the Onset (Part 1)*
here and gone [poem]
I did not want to bring Grief into this house. She follows me though, small bare feet pattering up the concrete stairs. I don't realize she's followed me in until later, when I find her hiding under the bed. She must be cold and lonely and hungry. I clasp her small tender hands and lift … Continue reading here and gone [poem]
Quiet mornings
There comes a time in the evening when I just want it to be the next morning. Just skip all the mundane getting-ready-for-bed habits, skip sleeping, and wake rested anticipating the day ahead. One reason I'm a "morning person" is because I absolutely love getting up right before the sun. I love watching the colors … Continue reading Quiet mornings
There is no fix but through
I'm here to tell you that there is no end-all be-all fix to mental illness. In some ways, as I've been taking off and discarding old layers of myself, I find even more that I need to address. It's depressing, quite literally. I only have so much time in a day, and so much energy … Continue reading There is no fix but through
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 