The realization dawned on me that I needed to leave. It’s not in a “oh my God get me out of here” way or a “I’m running as fast as I can towards something new” way. It’s just a “it’s time” way. It’s not desperate or overly negative or toxic. It just is. I think … Continue reading The leaving manifesto
Category: emotions
Controlled chaos, at the very least
I think I've figured it out. The reason why I'm in a very frequent state of existential angst. I feel like I'm going up a creek in many areas of my life. I'm looking for solutions, even proposing solutions, but very few seem to be picking up what I'm putting down. It could be me. … Continue reading Controlled chaos, at the very least
Breaking my COVID vows
It's October 2021, and in case you didn't realize it, 2022 is just around the corner. Almost two years since the world changed. I mean, the world is always changing, but a global pandemic will do a number on "normalcy." Don't worry, though, I won't rush through the last two months of the year. Fall … Continue reading Breaking my COVID vows
Making peace with Mother’s Day
Earlier this week, my husband made the decision that we were not going to church today. I was totally on board with this, and very happy that I did not have to make the decision and the argument to go along with it. It's not that we hate church; it's just that the church in … Continue reading Making peace with Mother’s Day
March wrap-up + the need for silence
Here we are in the beginning of April. Sure, spring technically comes in March, but April really shows the sun coming up earlier and going to bed later, like it's too excited for the day to sleep any longer than necessary. Like it's coming out of hibernation. I share the sentiment. In March, we hit … Continue reading March wrap-up + the need for silence
Helping our inner child find the way
When you are a child, the eighteen years you spend as a child feels like eternity. I can't tell you how many times I thought, I can't wait until I'm out on my own. Until I can do whatever I want. When you're an adult, the years you spent as a child grow smaller and … Continue reading Helping our inner child find the way
From the Archives: “She Waited”
This week I finished the novel On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous by poet Ocean Vuong. There was so much to unpack in the beautiful masterpiece that was that book (you can read my review here - no spoilers), but one thing that triggered my subconscious. The narrator has a close relationship with his grandma, … Continue reading From the Archives: “She Waited”
You are not your calendar
It's okay to step away from something, even if you've been doing it for years. Especially if you've been doing it for years. It's something I've been trying to tell myself. Unfortunately, some of my time that I've rediscovered as I've stepped away from commitments is steeped in guilt, kind of like the half-drunk mug … Continue reading You are not your calendar
Coming back into my body
Over the past seven years or so, I have been made acutely aware of my body. At first she seemed like a stranger to me, someone you pass in the night but can't quite see past the darkness and shadows. It's quite ironic that I was so separated from my body because I am tall. … Continue reading Coming back into my body
Choosing to not drink is easy; sobriety is hard
I don't mean that the act of not drinking is so difficult. I mean, it can be, especially on the Saturday of a long weekend where I just feel good all day, and what could make it better besides a lovely cocktail or two? In all honesty though, overall it hasn't been difficult for me … Continue reading Choosing to not drink is easy; sobriety is hard
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 