Physics was not my best class. Here I was, senior year of high school, vying for the "Seven-Semester High Honors" title I would share with many of my classmates. Our grades weren't weighted, but I'd be damned if I got either that honor or valedictorian (something I shared with 20 of my classmates) without going … Continue reading Equal and opposite reaction
Busyness is a form of people pleasing, and people pleasing is a coping strategy. If I can't feel good about myself from the inside, then I make sure to get as much external validation as possible. The more I say yes, the harder I work, the more validation I receive which, because of how I … Continue reading When ‘no’ means ‘yes’
As the plane circled Midway, I was fuming. Angry. Upset. And desperately wishing the pilot would turn us back to Baltimore. I looked out the window and my body told me that it remembered the intense, confusing, and raw grief I experienced several years ago when my grandpa died and I flew 'home' for the … Continue reading Out of grief, thankfulness
I've learned a hell of a lot about myself in the past few months. Summer was a lovely time of watching sunrises, reading books (check out my Goodreads on the side bar), namely, getting back into fiction and even fantasy. I've been really connecting with who I am at my core. And also getting shit … Continue reading Self-actualization
School is out here in Maryland (finally) and consequently I've been able to do errands like grocery shopping and running to the post office during regular business hours. It's been glorious. And I know when late August rolls around I will whine and complain that now I don't have time for work because I just … Continue reading Unconditional ice cream
I am a scaredy cat. I may not look like it on the outside, but my mantra basically my whole life has been, "Fake it until you make it." Through school. Through college. Through job after job. I reach higher ground and I'm still telling myself to fake it until I make it. Except I … Continue reading Scaredy cat
Maybe if I write about writer's block, it'll go away. You know, just like those bullies that called me "four eyes" and "nerd" and "goody two shoes" at school. In a way, writer's block bullies me too. There are many times throughout the day whether I'm in the car, in the shower, on a run, … Continue reading Writer’s block is a bully.
The "Write" button at the top right freaks me out every time. I don't know how it's different than picking up a pen and writing on paper. But let's be honest: that freaks me out too. For years and years before the advent of blogging (people know that this word originally came from web + … Continue reading Not this time
I am terrified I won't feel passion for any life decision again. I spent 28 years of my life preparing to house and birth a child. I chose my college major and my profession around my desire to be a mother. When dating I looked for someone who would not only be a great life … Continue reading Passion + espresso
I always wondered why when I went to my grandparents' or great-grandparents' houses, it was quiet. It was quiet except for the hourly tone of the clock. It was quiet except for the shuffle of a newspaper or drip-drip-drip of the coffee pot. It was unnerving, really, and kind of annoying. Now, knowing that I … Continue reading Sitting in silence
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 