Why is it that as soon as I open this fucking laptop My nervous system starts to calm down My breathing starts to return to normal After an entire day of wanting to crawl out of my skin And leave this world behind My heart is still in my body, and it still hurts My … Continue reading Why is it
Category: family
Mother’s Day & Matriarchs
This blog post is coming to you from an adorable coffee shop about half a mile from my house. "Exposure therapy" is good, and probably necessary this many years on. So here I am in public, among children and strollers and women wearing some variation of "Mama Bear" sweatshirts. Today is Mother's Day, and I … Continue reading Mother’s Day & Matriarchs
Staycation: a save point.
I recently took a spring break of my own making, an entire week. This length of time is in quite stark contrast to spring break in my last job as a public school teacher. In the particular district I was working for, we never had a full week of for spring break. Most years we … Continue reading Staycation: a save point.
This is Genetic (Part 2)*
*This post is part of a series of reflections written as I explored my neurodivergence prior to diagnosis. Originally written July 2023. I should be writing about this but I haven’t been. I’ve been doing what I guess my autistic (I want to whisper this) brain does and try to hold every detail at the … Continue reading This is Genetic (Part 2)*
Quiet mornings
There comes a time in the evening when I just want it to be the next morning. Just skip all the mundane getting-ready-for-bed habits, skip sleeping, and wake rested anticipating the day ahead. One reason I'm a "morning person" is because I absolutely love getting up right before the sun. I love watching the colors … Continue reading Quiet mornings
Being alone is difficult
I know that when I feel anxious or swimming in thoughts, I need to just write them down. It's amazing the clarity that can be realized when I put my anxious thoughts to rest. Being alone is hard for me. Ironically, I'm an introvert. But I think in today's terms I'd be considered an "extroverted … Continue reading Being alone is difficult
From the Archives: “She Waited”
This week I finished the novel On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous by poet Ocean Vuong. There was so much to unpack in the beautiful masterpiece that was that book (you can read my review here - no spoilers), but one thing that triggered my subconscious. The narrator has a close relationship with his grandma, … Continue reading From the Archives: “She Waited”
Recap of “2020 – The Year of Saying No”
In January, I wrote this post about saying no, my theme for this year. It came off the coattails of the Year of Being Honest. I haven't picked a personal theme for 2021 yet, but thought I would recap and expound on the list of things I wanted to do for 2020. Reading. Lots and … Continue reading Recap of “2020 – The Year of Saying No”
Lullabies and aromatherapy
The whir of the sewing machine has been a lullaby and the steam from the hot iron has been aromatherapy. For the last few days of this self-quarantine I've been holed up in my sewing room. It's a room I've recently adorned with new paint (a beautiful airy light blue.. think of a salty breeze) … Continue reading Lullabies and aromatherapy
Out of grief, thankfulness
As the plane circled Midway, I was fuming. Angry. Upset. And desperately wishing the pilot would turn us back to Baltimore. I looked out the window and my body told me that it remembered the intense, confusing, and raw grief I experienced several years ago when my grandpa died and I flew 'home' for the … Continue reading Out of grief, thankfulness
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 