This blog post is coming to you from an adorable coffee shop about half a mile from my house. "Exposure therapy" is good, and probably necessary this many years on. So here I am in public, among children and strollers and women wearing some variation of "Mama Bear" sweatshirts. Today is Mother's Day, and I … Continue reading Mother’s Day & Matriarchs
Category: infertility
here and gone [poem]
I did not want to bring Grief into this house. She follows me though, small bare feet pattering up the concrete stairs. I don't realize she's followed me in until later, when I find her hiding under the bed. She must be cold and lonely and hungry. I clasp her small tender hands and lift … Continue reading here and gone [poem]
My hysterectomy, aka beginning of a new chapter (Days 0-4)
For a couple months now I've been meticulously preparing for major surgery - hysterectomy and another excision procedure for endometriosis. As I write this I'm on day 4 post-op and I'm feeling pretty good! Let's do this! Even though I've already had a different surgery for endo four years ago, chronic pain, horrible periods, etc, … Continue reading My hysterectomy, aka beginning of a new chapter (Days 0-4)
Making peace with Mother’s Day
Earlier this week, my husband made the decision that we were not going to church today. I was totally on board with this, and very happy that I did not have to make the decision and the argument to go along with it. It's not that we hate church; it's just that the church in … Continue reading Making peace with Mother’s Day
BONUS POST: Narratives we tell ourselves
One of the most important things we are able to do as humans that set us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom is reflect. We can look into the past and remember in order to make the present or future different. It's how we learn about ourselves and the world around us. These … Continue reading BONUS POST: Narratives we tell ourselves
Coming back into my body
Over the past seven years or so, I have been made acutely aware of my body. At first she seemed like a stranger to me, someone you pass in the night but can't quite see past the darkness and shadows. It's quite ironic that I was so separated from my body because I am tall. … Continue reading Coming back into my body
Books under the rug
The memories we have as children are grossly underestimated. The experiences, people, sayings, jokes, smells, foods, books... it's really amazing that all of this fits so well as it's swept under a rug. Until it doesn't fit, and one by one each memory or book or food grows legs and crawls out, peeking its head … Continue reading Books under the rug
Boundaries
I don't normally write for this blog on my work laptop and I usually have my Sunday post done by now, but my personal laptop seems to be dead. At least for now. Quite a bummer, too, because I was working on a very cozy vibe for a mid-autumn Sunday morning - complete quiet, a … Continue reading Boundaries
Plan A is Plan A
In a one-on-one session with a student today, these literal words came out of my mouth: "Bear with me with biology; it's been 20 years since I've had this class." (For the record, I teach ESOL but a student came to me for language help with her bio class.) I became a teacher long before … Continue reading Plan A is Plan A
When they’re all grown up
Sometimes the house is too quiet, sometimes the floors are too clean. On a lazy, cool, and rainy Sunday afternoon, which have been quite rare, I become more aware of my inner thoughts than I have been in awhile. I seem to oscillate between thinking and feeling, doing and observing. And I've been doing a … Continue reading When they’re all grown up
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 