Again I write, not sure if these words will see the light of day. My last post was written almost four months ago, when I shared our story of infertility. I mentioned that there's hope that can overshadow the disappointment that comes with this journey. I wasn't sure how hope would play out over the … Continue reading The bend in the road: a reflection from January 2016
Category: infertility
The next ‘big thing’
I turned 31 this year. Any novelty or 'I-don't-give-a-crap'-ness that ensued when I turned 30 and entered a new decade subsided last year, and this year, it was just another birthday. I've said it before and I'll say it until I die - I would not live through my 20s again if someone paid me … Continue reading The next ‘big thing’
Uterus: “Hi, I’m a special snowflake. Nice to meet you.”
And mine is actually quite unique. That's right, folks, my uterus thinks it's a freaking special snowflake and falls into the approximately 5% of women who are born with a Mullerian anomaly. A week and a half ago I had symptoms of what I knew to probably be an ovarian cyst. I've had pain in … Continue reading Uterus: “Hi, I’m a special snowflake. Nice to meet you.”
An unfortunate rite of passage with an okay ending.
Infertility has been an unfortunate rite of passage. It's something I didn't know I'd have to go through, unlike other rites of passage, and until I did, there's a lot I didn't know or realize about life in general. Funny how specific life circumstances can teach us so much about just... life. Fertility or the … Continue reading An unfortunate rite of passage with an okay ending.
On carnations and Sunday litany
Yesterday as I walked out of the sanctuary, it was the first Mother's Day in years that I really felt like the sanctuary, was, well, a sanctuary. I've been pondering the litany we read together as a congregation, one that my pastor modified as he went in order to be more inclusive. It went something … Continue reading On carnations and Sunday litany
A bigger promise
I have failed miserably at writing here every day. But I do that some thoughts that have emanated from my daily devotional on the YouVersion Bible App. The current plan I'm going through now with a friend is all about devotions that speak to real-life. Really, that's what I look for in any devotion. But … Continue reading A bigger promise
Lenten Journey: Day 1, Heal
Last year for Lent I wrote a little bit everyday about a given topic and related it to my walk with Christ. Instead of spending time on social media, I spent time writing, praying, and reflecting. I will take time this year as well to write about a topic a day. I found the practice … Continue reading Lenten Journey: Day 1, Heal
Finding our voices
Every time I get the inspiration or urge to write, something stops me. It's almost like a paralysis, but it's completely intangible. I imagine it's a bit like being under anesthesia, able to feel but unable to speak. Actually, that's exactly what it is. Two years of hopefulness followed by hopelessness ad nauseum can really … Continue reading Finding our voices
What not to say to someone struggling with infertility.
It's Infertility Awareness Week, April 24-30. Judging by the uncomfortable interaction I had last night at, of all places, a church softball game, cyberspace could use a little awareness. For those of you who read my initial 'coming out' post in October, you'd know that by now, April 2016, we've been trying to conceive for … Continue reading What not to say to someone struggling with infertility.
March 6 | Beloved
You Who Never Arrived, by Rainer Maria Rilke You who never arrived in my arms, Beloved, who were lost from the start, I don't even know what songs would please you. I have given up trying to recognize you in the surging wave of the next moment. All the immense images in me -- the … Continue reading March 6 | Beloved
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 