Seeing as it's the end of a calendar year and we are turning the page, it works out that it's also been almost an entire year since I was diagnosed Autistic / ADHD - AuDHD if you will. I really can't explain that the way the words form in my head while laying awake in … Continue reading Maslow’s Unmasking
Tag: mental health
But I love my rusty tools, dammit
Sometimes I'm worried I won't have anything to write about, and then I realize AuDHD is not just a phase. I think by and large I've worked my way out of the throes of My Big Autistic Burnout. Thank God. I'm in the phase of post-burnout where I'm finessing my coping strategies (still working) and … Continue reading But I love my rusty tools, dammit
Sick and tired
Aren't you tired (and I'm feeling physically sick)Aren't you sick of looking at yourself in the mirror and wanting to shrink or be anyone elseArent you sick of being sad and stressed and upset and on the brink of despair the majority of the dayAnd despondent when you wake up in the night You can … Continue reading Sick and tired
lighter
how can you make things lighter? how (can / should / will) you remove the tethers and nails and boxes? how (can / should / will) you stretch your mind into time and space of transcendent light and hope? how can you make things brighter? how (can / should / will) you open the dusty … Continue reading lighter
Meltdown: Implosion Explained (Part 5)*
*This post is part of a series of reflections written as I explored my neurodivergence prior to diagnosis. Originally written August 2023. Life feels hard, every day. I wish it wasn’t. There are some days that are easier than others. But I feel like there’s always something to dread - some commitment, some phone call, something … Continue reading Meltdown: Implosion Explained (Part 5)*
Regarding the Next Big Thing
Don't tell everyone about the seeds you're planting. Let them grow without the disturbance of outside energy... There's an enormous amount of power in silence..." [Moonomens] I think there's a lot of wisdom in holding your goals close to your chest, not talking about them. It's antithetical to the Western way of life for sure, … Continue reading Regarding the Next Big Thing
Teaching while AuDHD
If I had stayed in teaching, I'm not sure how long I would have lasted, to be honest. I also may never have come to the conclusion that I am neurodivergent. Recently it dawned on me why the structure of the teaching / instructional day was so difficult for me to manage at times. On … Continue reading Teaching while AuDHD
There is no fix but through
I'm here to tell you that there is no end-all be-all fix to mental illness. In some ways, as I've been taking off and discarding old layers of myself, I find even more that I need to address. It's depressing, quite literally. I only have so much time in a day, and so much energy … Continue reading There is no fix but through
Middle of May
It's almost the middle of May How do I make time slow down? Be more present. Be more present. Be more present. Be more present. Be present.
What is ambition, really?
Have I ever really been ambitious or singular about one particular thing in my life? That's the question I'm walking around with this morning. Also, what has been/is my ambition? And does it align at all to my place in a capitalistic society? For years I was a teacher. While I would say I had … Continue reading What is ambition, really?
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 