Sometimes I do the torturous math and think that if we had had a child soon after we started trying, he/she would be a preschooler. And sometimes I think that maybe we'd have had another one by now, too. I guess I aspired to be a mom with kids close in age, and voluntarily participate … Continue reading The Gift of Enough
Tag: writing
Catalyst
I went through a few years playing faith and going through the motions. I felt I really had no viable option otherwise. I hadn't lost my faith but I didn't feel connected either. The time after my first grandma died was also the time I was initially grieving children we would never have, and for … Continue reading Catalyst
Testify, Celebrate, Lifted
Testify is a buzz word in the sect of Christianity I've come from. Testify, testament, testimony.. all words from the same root. As such, like many words from the same subculture, give me a slightly cringe-y feeling. Not to offend or dismiss the decade I spent in evangelistic charismatic churches. I wouldn't even say I … Continue reading Testify, Celebrate, Lifted
Grit and Grime
Running, specifically long distance running, has a way of stripping a person down to the inner grit and grime of who she is. The effects of using all the body's energy and breaking down muscle only to be rebuilt stronger don't discriminate between man, woman, young, old, affluent, poor, elite, not elite (read: me). Today's … Continue reading Grit and Grime
To my little girl.
We had names for you both. One of you was going to be Dagny Elayne, the first name after Dagny Taggart of Atlas Shrugged, a real go-getter with a kickass personality; the second name was after a character in your daddy's all time favorite book series, Wheel of Time. To be honest, I wasn't a huge fan … Continue reading To my little girl.
Rejecting platitudes and accepting the pain of grief
I couldn't hear one more platitude as I shared my story. I couldn't stomach one more look of pity, or even worse, blank space behind the eyes. It was just too painful. I became exhausted listening to all the things people said to me. And I say me specifically because for some reason the man's … Continue reading Rejecting platitudes and accepting the pain of grief
Yoga made me cry.
As I was standing in the last tadasana of my practice with hands at heart center, it hit me how actually close to my heart I had become. In the third floor 'bonus room' of our new beautiful house, with windows open and sweat (or humidity) dripping off my body, I realized that more unity … Continue reading Yoga made me cry.
The bend in the road: a reflection from January 2016
Again I write, not sure if these words will see the light of day. My last post was written almost four months ago, when I shared our story of infertility. I mentioned that there's hope that can overshadow the disappointment that comes with this journey. I wasn't sure how hope would play out over the … Continue reading The bend in the road: a reflection from January 2016
A bigger promise
I have failed miserably at writing here every day. But I do that some thoughts that have emanated from my daily devotional on the YouVersion Bible App. The current plan I'm going through now with a friend is all about devotions that speak to real-life. Really, that's what I look for in any devotion. But … Continue reading A bigger promise
Sacrifice
I'm almost finished with a YouVersion devotional by Oswald Chambers, one of my favorites. Yesterday's topic was sacrifice and he said this: "In certain stages of spiritual life we get the morbid conception that everything we have we must give up. In the Bible the meaning of sacrifice is the deliberate giving of the best … Continue reading Sacrifice
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 