Don’t leave me out! : Facebook musings.

All these changes on Facebook have me thinking a lot about social networks. What are their purposes? Why be involved in more than one?

I joined Facebook when it was the new thing for, get this, college students only. Then with its success it was opened up to everyone and their dog, quite literally. (I know someone who has a Facebook for a cat.) Funny, right?

My question is… why do we even spend the energy on these sites? I don’t know about you, but they can be addicting. I have no less than 386 friends on Facebook. Do I talk or interact or “like” anything on every one of these people’s pages? Heck to the nizzo. Do I even care about what’s going on in all of their lives? No. Some I haven’t talked to since high school, so seven years. Seven years with virtually no contact with someone is a long time.

But do I have the audacity to delete most of my “friends”? No, because, you know, someday I might need to ask them something or… something. Yeah, something like that. :shiftyeyes:

Facebook is so superficial. We all know it, but most of us give in to it anyway. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent just since moving to Texas perusing (or stalking.. for lack of better terms) all the people we left behind. It’s ridiculous. I know that I won’t talk to most people again. It’s sad, but it’s reality.

I don’t think as humans we’re made to really develop 386 or more quality relationships with people. Most of us can think of two or three close friends (maybe this includes our spouse, for me it does) who we tell everything to… they know virtually everything about us. For them, Facebook is redundant. For everyone else, it’s stalking material. Creeeeepy.

People may ask me, So, why don’t you just not check Facebook that often? Well, friends, it’s the same reason I don’t have credit cards anymore. I will use it, and it won’t be pretty. I know myself and my tendencies. While we’ve lived almost three years (since February 2009) without those plastic demons, I can’t say I’ve totally kicked the habit. So I don’t even allow myself to walk through the door.

So why don’t we just walk away? For people like me who spend way too much time on Facebook and related sites, it’s a fear that I’ll be left out. “Oh, didn’t you see that So-and-so had her baby? He’s so cute! She posted pictures on Facebook.” Yeah, I hate to admit it, but that makes me feel left out. So what if I haven’t talked to “her” (whoever it is) in years… I’m nosy and want to see the baby!

I think, though, that I won’t be left out. I’ll have more time to write, read, knit, with Aaron, whatever. And I’ll be spending less time reading and worrying about what everyone and her mother is doing. I have a cell phone with unlimited minutes and texts… why don’t we use that? I’m sick of using my unlimited texts for Facebook and Twitter.

I know this seems like a silly plug, but I like Google. My e-mail, blog subscriptions and social network can be in all one place. Drama is eliminated because there is no “requesting” friends. You just follow someone, and they can’t see which circle you place them in, so you know, I don’t offend someone who thought they were my friend but they’re really just an acquaintance. (Okay, it’s more likely that it would be the other way around and I would be offended.. ha.)

I deactivated my Facebook twice, I think, for a couple months at a time. I felt freer, like I was bucking the system somehow. I was in control over what I was doing on the Interwebz instead of it having so much ridiculous control over me. There are a lot of things I want to accomplish in life, and none of them are “become an expert stalker and communicator through Facebook”. I seriously commend those who haven’t given in to its wiles. Sigh. I always gave in again.

Facebook is not evil. For me, though, with my addictive tendencies, it’s bad. Just like credit cards or sweets. Maybe Google+ will be, too.

Sighhh. The debate continues for me. Something needs to change, one way or the other.