For a couple months now I've been meticulously preparing for major surgery - hysterectomy and another excision procedure for endometriosis. As I write this I'm on day 4 post-op and I'm feeling pretty good! Let's do this! Even though I've already had a different surgery for endo four years ago, chronic pain, horrible periods, etc, … Continue reading My hysterectomy, aka beginning of a new chapter (Days 0-4)
Category: adulting
Controlled chaos, at the very least
I think I've figured it out. The reason why I'm in a very frequent state of existential angst. I feel like I'm going up a creek in many areas of my life. I'm looking for solutions, even proposing solutions, but very few seem to be picking up what I'm putting down. It could be me. … Continue reading Controlled chaos, at the very least
Don’t look down
It's what people say when you're at an uncomfortable height. It's advice and admonishment. It's a warning against the inevitable void that will entice you to fall. It could be a bend from reality, a willful ignorance of what actually exists. At some point, we have to look down and get real. We have to … Continue reading Don’t look down
Breaking my COVID vows
It's October 2021, and in case you didn't realize it, 2022 is just around the corner. Almost two years since the world changed. I mean, the world is always changing, but a global pandemic will do a number on "normalcy." Don't worry, though, I won't rush through the last two months of the year. Fall … Continue reading Breaking my COVID vows
The Problem of Saturday
Even before I was old enough to have a job in the traditional sense, working on the weekends, particularly Saturdays, was a concept I knew well. Many a Saturday morning, I woke up at a decent time (not by my own accord), perused the "to-do list" written by my mother, and with my sisters we … Continue reading The Problem of Saturday
My constant companion(s)
Mental illness is a bitch. She's the shadow behind you when you look in the mirror. She's the one who whispers, "I'll always be with you." And she's not wrong. I had a stark realization that this will forever be with me. I can't shake it. You name it, I've tried everything. Prayer. Medication. Meditation. … Continue reading My constant companion(s)
Change as ethos
The desert feels close today. The gray sky makes me think of cozy but infrequent days when the clouds shrouded the Franklin Mountains like a light jacket, unsure about the change in season but ready for spring. The experience of driving in El Paso feels near, of enjoying that first new place. I grew immensely … Continue reading Change as ethos
I’m cut out for this
I realize that I don't write much about my "other" life: the hours of my life I spend as a public school teacher. I do my best to have healthy boundaries between work and play, and in the past year this need has become more pronounced. I use my commute and other teachers who are … Continue reading I’m cut out for this
Helping our inner child find the way
When you are a child, the eighteen years you spend as a child feels like eternity. I can't tell you how many times I thought, I can't wait until I'm out on my own. Until I can do whatever I want. When you're an adult, the years you spent as a child grow smaller and … Continue reading Helping our inner child find the way
This is how you do a staycation
This past weekend we experienced something new - a staycation. After nearly 18 years together (!!!!!), it's always surprising to find something new to explore together. But thanks to COVID, winter weather, and frugality, we suited up a three-day weekend with PTO, video games, coffee, delivery pizza, and so many couch cuddles with the dog. … Continue reading This is how you do a staycation
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 