For a long time I was at odds with my own past. My own experiences. It's a weird place be to because there's animosity and sadness and regret, but the only person it's directed to is the person in the mirror. Or out into the void. It's very confusing. I went to a small private … Continue reading Making amends
Category: healing
The journey to delighting in boredom
By training in...boredom, we train in accepting things as they are. This helps us wean ourselves from the habit of closing down into our soothing world of familiar, imputed meanings.Pema Chodron, Welcoming the Unwelcome I used to be terrified of being bored. As a teenager in high school who lived life at 90 miles an … Continue reading The journey to delighting in boredom
We are who we’ve always been
I have read a lot of good books lately - twenty so far in 2020. I recently finished The Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas and I can say that I had a book hangover for a good couple days. I also read another fantasy book, The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia … Continue reading We are who we’ve always been
Vanishing
With all this time at home and so many headlines, I find I'm spending way more time on my phone in the past week than I have in a long time. As a result of scrolling, I saw this video of Kelly Clarkson (have always been a fan) doing an a cappella version of Mariah … Continue reading Vanishing
I could feel this coming.
As far as I know, the world is spinning at the same rate as it was only a week ago. A month ago. A year ago. But now, as of 5:42 AM on March 17, 2020, we're living in a much different world. And it's weird to think I could feel it coming. For several … Continue reading I could feel this coming.
When ‘no’ means ‘yes’
Busyness is a form of people pleasing, and people pleasing is a coping strategy. If I can't feel good about myself from the inside, then I make sure to get as much external validation as possible. The more I say yes, the harder I work, the more validation I receive which, because of how I … Continue reading When ‘no’ means ‘yes’
Just Say No, AKA the Year 2020
How are your New Year's goals and resolutions going? Did you make any? I haven't made them since probably around 2013 when I resolved to make the bed every day. I have to say, it's stuck and I still make the bed five out of seven days. Instead of resolutions, I try to stick with … Continue reading Just Say No, AKA the Year 2020
Unconditional ice cream
School is out here in Maryland (finally) and consequently I've been able to do errands like grocery shopping and running to the post office during regular business hours. It's been glorious. And I know when late August rolls around I will whine and complain that now I don't have time for work because I just … Continue reading Unconditional ice cream
I think mini backpacks are cool and I don’t care who knows it.
I'm finally feeling like myself again. It's taken a shit-ton of work. Physical work. Mental work. Emotional work. Hours of therapy. Hours of running. Of listening and meditating on music that feeds my soul. Of advocating for myself and my physical health. Recently I've been reconnecting with the Elizabeth that's down deep inside, the girl … Continue reading I think mini backpacks are cool and I don’t care who knows it.
Passion + espresso
I am terrified I won't feel passion for any life decision again. I spent 28 years of my life preparing to house and birth a child. I chose my college major and my profession around my desire to be a mother. When dating I looked for someone who would not only be a great life … Continue reading Passion + espresso
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 