This week I had a breakthrough at work. Today was my first “good” day in a long time. Not “okay” or “not bad” but “good”. I think with all the change and uncertainty surrounding our cross-country move and finances, I’ve been on edge. Life changes take some getting used to, but this one’s been six months in the making. I’ve complained about how I don’t make what I really should for the responsibility that I have and blah blah blahhhh. I’ve whined about how expensive it is to certify in Texas and how there are no teaching jobs. The latter is not entirely true; they’re just few and far between. A couple times a week we have a displaced teacher come to us looking for a tutoring job. I wish we could hire everyone. Anyway.
I started teacher observations this week. I mean, I’ve been informally observing for some time now. From the hours of 9 to 3:30, I’m in my office or running around getting things done, usually with only one other person there. Once 4 o’clock comes around, I want to interact with people, be with the kids, see how they’re doing with their lessons. But this week I actually had a form to fill out and I’ll have to talk with each teacher about his/her evaluation.
It’s not like the evaluations determine a pay raise. (There are none in the works for anyone right now as far as I know.) It’s not like this is something that will follow my employees (yes, my, weird) forever, but it’s my first experience carrying out this sort of responsibility. I know I’m a good teacher and that I possess a lot of knowledge about pedagogy (I’m a natural! ;)) but it’s intimidating to evaluate a teacher who taught for 20-some-odd years in the classroom and is now tutoring because they feel like it and have nothing better to do.
I realized that regardless of what I’m getting paid, or not paid, to do my job for about thirty hours a week, my job is important. I have right now about 50 kids and sets of parents who are affected by my day-to-day decisions. I make no less decisions now than when I was teaching full-time. Regardless of what I’m getting paid, this “supervisory” experience will be fantastic on my resume.
This is a completely new avenue for me, being a “boss”. I hate hate hate the stereotypes and cringing that term conjures up. Bill Lumberg. Michael Scott. Darth Vader. But, it’s about time I accept this role and decide what I’m going to do with the influence I have.
I get to train teachers. I get to meet and work with all kinds of families who have one goal: to help their children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews succeed in school and in life. Build confidence. Encourage creativity. I believe in our programs (though they’re expensive.. wish we had scholarships or grants or something), but more importantly, I believe in compassionate comprehensive education.
While I’m looking forward to (hopefully) starting grad school in the fall, I’m actually enjoying my experience now. I’m done complaining (for the most part), done whining (for the most part), done pining for a teaching job (for the most part), done begrudging the early Saturday mornings (for the most part) and instead focusing on using my God-given talents and brains to the best of my ability.
God honors excellence and excellence honors God.
Like a boss.