I'm sharing this private unpublished post in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week. To all the people who are sick of society's and the collective church's bullshit about conceiving a child and what constitutes a family. When I'm in crisis, I write. A lot. As a colleague says when there's nothing else to say: words, … Continue reading How the prosperity gospel ruined my peace, and other stories | [Unpublished post from 2015].
Category: infertility
I am woman, a poem.
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week. For all mothers who wish they were. You are still you. I am woman. I am moon and stars and voices on the winter wind. I am a young girl with sparkles of hope in her eyes as she gazes at the fading sun. I am in awe … Continue reading I am woman, a poem.
Vanishing
With all this time at home and so many headlines, I find I'm spending way more time on my phone in the past week than I have in a long time. As a result of scrolling, I saw this video of Kelly Clarkson (have always been a fan) doing an a cappella version of Mariah … Continue reading Vanishing
When ‘no’ means ‘yes’
Busyness is a form of people pleasing, and people pleasing is a coping strategy. If I can't feel good about myself from the inside, then I make sure to get as much external validation as possible. The more I say yes, the harder I work, the more validation I receive which, because of how I … Continue reading When ‘no’ means ‘yes’
Writer’s block is a bully.
Maybe if I write about writer's block, it'll go away. You know, just like those bullies that called me "four eyes" and "nerd" and "goody two shoes" at school. In a way, writer's block bullies me too. There are many times throughout the day whether I'm in the car, in the shower, on a run, … Continue reading Writer’s block is a bully.
Three years later
I'm sitting on my porch typing with a bum elbow. It's been hurting more today because I've been busy. In the kitchen. Like a good little wifey. Like the wife/mom combo I thought I would be. I came out here with a glass of cab and a head full of thoughts, hoping to get something, … Continue reading Three years later
I think mini backpacks are cool and I don’t care who knows it.
I'm finally feeling like myself again. It's taken a shit-ton of work. Physical work. Mental work. Emotional work. Hours of therapy. Hours of running. Of listening and meditating on music that feeds my soul. Of advocating for myself and my physical health. Recently I've been reconnecting with the Elizabeth that's down deep inside, the girl … Continue reading I think mini backpacks are cool and I don’t care who knows it.
Passion + espresso
I am terrified I won't feel passion for any life decision again. I spent 28 years of my life preparing to house and birth a child. I chose my college major and my profession around my desire to be a mother. When dating I looked for someone who would not only be a great life … Continue reading Passion + espresso
A lighted match
Anytime I think I don't need to go so frequently to the therapist, I'm proven wrong. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes I internally measure my need for therapy by how long it takes me to start crying in a session. I get a cup of tea from the Keurig that's provided in the practice I go … Continue reading A lighted match
Honesty is the best policy, with yourself
It's two weeks into the new year but I think I'm finally coming up with a solid resolution. Sure, getting up 15 minutes earlier on work days is great, but I thought of something that will help every minute of every day become better. This year I've decided to be honest with myself. This phrase … Continue reading Honesty is the best policy, with yourself
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 