Broken heart but healing

Last month, my heart was broken into tiny pieces when our beloved Missy died. I think this experience has impacted the progress I’ve been making and work I’ve been diligently doing.

I guess you could say it was the epitome of the word “triggered” – so many feelings and memories of events came rushing back to the surface after having found a restful place on the bottom of the ocean floor.

All of a sudden, after watching my dog take her last breath, I was confronted with memories of being with my grandmother just hours before she died. I remembered how she looked, the things I’d said, and the way I felt leaving that room that afternoon, sincerely thinking I’d visit her in the morning.

I was bombarded with the hard feelings endured through our struggle with infertility, that even though we couldn’t have kids of our own, we were “pet parents.” But then, what are you when your pet dies?

There was a lot of freedom that came after Missy died, though. Our daily schedule opened up. No longer did we need to find care for our dog for any out-of-town trips or vacations that were too far away to drive. We could both travel to our heart’s content, now with a much longer tether than before.

When we started seriously considering adopting another dog about a month after Missy died, we were both 100% on board with the idea. It was almost a magical moment, both of us realizing at the same time that we were both ready to try again.

Tomorrow we welcome a new member of our family.

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