Don’t tell everyone about the seeds you’re planting. Let them grow without the disturbance of outside energy… There’s an enormous amount of power in silence…” [Moonomens]
I think there’s a lot of wisdom in holding your goals close to your chest, not talking about them. It’s antithetical to the Western way of life for sure, because the goals are shrouded in silence. Our culture doesn’t do well with silence.
In fact, people are “nosy”. They want to know what you’re “going for” – what the Next Big Thing is.
In all honesty, I’m sick of Next Big Things. I’ve been fortunate, though, to have quite a few of them. In a good sense. Not in the Millennial “once-in-a-lifetime” sense.
Moving back to the Midwest felt like one of these more quiet goals for a long time. I enjoyed our time in the Southwest, and I enjoyed our time on the East Coast. But I think God / the Universe and I have had a silent loyalty, an unspoken agreement, that I was going to end up here, triangulating by moving northeast, and then re-centering west.
I think my subconscious knew it long before I did. There was something drawing me to work out my shit so that I could move back here in one piece (or closer to it). Over six months in now, I have no regrets. I have, of course, little moments of “what could be” or longing for where we used to live and the people there, but overall I am happy.
You don’t even have to say anything… Always remember that as a thing, you need never do. Many’s the man lost much just because he missed a perfect opportunity to say nothing.” [in Foster by Claire Keegan]
Zooming in a little bit to my goals at work this year, we have to devote a small portion of our efforts to a “personal development” goal. Here are some drafts…
- Reduce burnout by 40% by learning how to turn off my brain and enjoy my hobbies when I get home from work.
- Implement regular 30-min lunch breaks and spend the time eating healthy food and reading fantasy and science-fiction books.
- Reduce email traffic by 30% by Just Getting Up and having regular human interaction with the person down the hall.
- Increase enjoyment of life by taking all allotted vacation days and truly abiding by having “no access to email; please contact ______.”
Unfortunately I don’t think these goals will see the light of (Work)day, but it’s what I want to do. Haven’t I “personally developed” myself enough in a work sense? I feel like I have, and I’m quite proud of my education, work experiences, and jumping into a new career from teaching.
And now being 2.5 years into this new career, I’ve found my footing with the lingo and culture and flow of my work. Can’t that be enough? I want my goal to be, “On a daily basis, work hard and then play hard.”
I’m smack dab in the middle of the best years of my working life, I think. Where I have the technical expertise and life experience to really kick ass on a daily basis, and have the time and money to do the things I enjoy outside of work. I absolutely need to recognize that this sweet spot of adulthood (39 next month, folks) is the part of my life I’ve been waiting and working for. Therefore, finding a sustainable balance is my Next Big Thing, especially being neurodivergent and absolutely needing to avoid burnout.
MPM 2.0: mercy unmasked 